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Sunday, May 12, 2024

Not It - Transcripts

Batman: Before we head out, there are still some open cases we need to discuss. Kite Man is on the loose. Who wants to take point? Anyone? *no one answers* Fine. Stephanie, Kite Man is yours.

Spoiler: Hard pass. Kite Man keeps trying to become my nemesis, and I'm just like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" No means no, dude.

Batman: That's not a valid reason.

Spoiler: Hard pass.

Batman: Fine, we'll come back to Kite Man. Now. The Baffler has been causing problems by docks. Gordon asked us to intervene.

Red Robin: Knock-off Riddler? Seriously?

Batman: Thanks for volunteering, Tim.

Red Robin: What? No fair! *the others laugh. Tim turns to Dick* I'll give you twenty bucks if you take this case. 

Nightwing: Sorry, Timmy. No deal.

Batman: Which brings us to our last case. ... Condiment King.

Nightwing: Ugh, not him again!

Orphan: The worst.

Spoiler: I'll take Kite Man if it means I don't have to fight Condiment King.

Batman: Sold.

Nightwing & Orphan: That leaves...

Nightwing: Cass--

Orphan: No.

Nightwing: You owe me--

Orphan: No.

Nightwing: *sigh* ... Fine, I'll take Condiment King.

Red Robin: Bet Baffler's looking real good to you right now.

Nightwing: *defeated* It took me three weeks to get the mustard smell out of my uniform last time. Three weeks! *the others delight at his misfortune*

Batman: Thank God that worked. I hate fighting Condiment King.

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